The sun has begun to set and I hang up the smile I’ve worn all day, though I will make sure it is the first thing I put back on in the morning just in case it is “that day.” I want her to see me at my very best.
I do the normal routine, eat dinner, clean the house, write—the usual stuff. And then I lay down hoping to fall asleep quickly so my new day will hurry up and arrive. A new day with a brand new sun. But as I lay there and wait for the world to turn half way around, I think about her. And sometimes I smile, and sometimes that smile will turn into a snicker, and then often that snicker will turn into a burst of laughter.
And then there are times I get that lump in my throat and that tight feeling in my chest, and sometimes that feeling overwhelms me and begins to turn into a tear, and often that tear multiplies itself and I can no longer fight the feeling and I lose the battle. Then somehow through either the joy or the sadness I drift and find myself asleep. Then the dreams begin and keep me company until my new day arrives.
When I awake it’s with such excitement because I tell myself this could be the day that every other day has led up to and the first day of the rest of my life. I quickly don my smile because I do so want her to see me at my very best. Then I look out the window because, even though I know it’s dawn, I still have to confirm I’ve been given another chance to find her.
And there it is…the sun, even when it’s cloudy; somehow I still see it. And it smiles at me and I say, “Thank you,” and I smile back.
Then I ask myself, “Is this the day?” And the excitement rushes over me again. And then I ask myself, “Where’s it going to be?”
Maybe it’ll be at the water fountain, and, unexpectedly, there I’ll find her, and much more than my thirst will be quenched. Maybe it’ll be at the grocery store and there she’ll appear as I’m picking out fruit, and she’ll show me the difference between fresh and spoiled. Then, from that moment, nothing that I eat will ever taste the same because she’ll bring out the simplest beauties in everything I see, taste, smell, hear, or touch.
Or maybe today will be the day when my angel brings an item up to the cash register without its price tag. And as I wait behind this angel with all the frustrated people who are in such a hurry with their busy lives, I will find myself with such blessed extra time. Just enough time to start a conversation with this beautiful vision standing in front of me that I might not otherwise have noticed, but, because of a “price check on register 5,” I was able to find her.
Thank you for the sun, which began my new day. Thank you for granting me the faith when I arose this morning that I would find her in this new day. But most of all, thank you for me not having to ever wait on another sunrise because whenever I want to see it, I will look at her and there it shall always be, in her eyes; she will forever hold it for me.
She is my sunrise, my dawn, my new day.